I have been dating my 23(f) girlfriend for about two years. Originally she is from 1.5 hours where I am at now, but moved up by me.
Currently, she has told her family that she is in college, but hasn’t been in it for two years. She is bartending for cash.
I currently am employed fulltime at the same organization where I have been working for the past 5 years.
Due to her hobbies she wants me to sell my house, and move 1.5 hours away and buy a house with her. Luckily I bought my house before interest rates went crazy, and the housing market went wild. I was given the ultimatum, if I don’t move she will leave me.
I love this girl. She is my best friend and I truly enjoy life with her… But I’m just worried on the future.
My main concern is her schooling. She literally tells her family on the daily she is in class when she is not, and fabricates a false story around such.
Also, she is extremely messy and it drives me insane. She will leave her dog feces and urine on my floor and just leave it. Food, drinks, garbage all gets left were she used it last. No sense in picking up after herself.
I also am not a fan of the price increase. My mortgage would double, just off of the interest rates alone. I would also have 3+ hours of drive time a day to and from work when I already work a 12-16 hour day. Gas costs would go crazy. I estimate it would cost me an extra $1,200-$1,500 a month. She claims she would help me pay for it but she hasn’t helped me pay a bill yet. And with her unsteady work history I dont think I can bank on her coming up with the money.
I truly love this girl and enjoy the life we have. She’s my best friend and I want a future with her.
When I tell her I don’t think now is a feasble time to make the move she gets mad and tells me that I’m self centered, narcissistic, etc.
How can I help her understand some of the financial and logistical issues with this move?
Thanks