(I apologise for bad english I’m french).
I keep overthinking little things my gf does and I don’t know how to stop it. I‘ll give you some example:
(I’ll call my gf S to not give her name)
1- She often stop listening to me when she receive messages on her phone or when our friends (one specifically, let’s name him Z) starts talking to her. Even if we are in the middle of a conversation.
2- She speaks for me when we organise parties with our friends. It often happens that everyone knows everything about organisation except me and they all even know my availability and everything even if I didn’t tell them.
3- One time I asked Z about someting and he answered to S like she asked the question.
There are many little things like that and I know it’s nothing but my brain keep making me thinking theses situation are bad.
The second example makes me feel like I’m rejected of my friend group, the first and the third example makes me feel like I’m not interesting and doesn’t really matter. In general when Z is here I feel like no one notices me anymore.
The big problem is that when it happens I just start being stressed and I can become quiet and distant in the worst case. I start question so many things just because of a little thing she did.
I’ve talked to her about that and whenever theres a little thing like that I tell her but she finds it exagerated even if she tries to understand.
I said that I know it can sound stupid but what i feel is real so I talk to her cause I feel better after. One time I cried and it proves me that I’m not experiencing this well.
Maybe It’s a self-esteem problem from me or maybe it’s jealousy that makes me want to have all her attention sometimes.
I think I need to know if people have this issue too and if some of you have found ways to deal with it. I’m scared to let it become toxic.
What do you think? How can I approach this better?
Thanks
TL;DR: I keep feeling bad from little things my girlfriend does. I know it’s nothing and I want to deal with it better. How can I improve to not let it become toxic?