I (32f) and leaving my husband (41m) after realizing he’s been emotionally/ verbally abusive for years. Things have always been up and down, but I am genuinely confused. Things have been quite bad for the past year, he works away for months at a time. He booked an overseas vacation, for the two of us, after our last big argument. He didn’t consult me at all. He then refused to tell me the dates of the vacation. He’s now giving me the silent treatment but still thinks I’m going on vacation with him??
There is a pattern in the relationship where he will fuck up, yell or name call, then give me the silent treatments for days/ weeks, then book a trip away. He does not apologize or mention the shouting or calling me names, he just books a trip, I go, we both pretend he didn’t yell/ name call and it’s forgotten.
My question is, why? Why would he potentially waste money on a trip? He got angry and said he didn’t even want me to go with him but that if he didn’t buy me a ticket I’d be mad. I’m divorcing him anyway, but I am curious what is the point of booking a vacation when our relationship is obviously ending. And why keep the date secret? Thanks in advance!