I (20F) just began a relationship with my best friend (20F) after dating boys for years. I also identified myself as asexual because I never enjoyed kissing or sex or even romantic gestures, but when she and I kissed, something was different. Sparks flew and I went “oh shit, this is great, I’m totally gay” and she was very smug all “yeah I knew that everyone knew that” (which is true) but now she is super excited to make me realize just how gay I am…. And it’s been great but I still can rarely get turned on. she’s a total knockout like I’ve never been more attracted to anyone in my life, the sex is objectively amazing and I have a great time, but I just don’t feel a thing physically. and when I do, it’s due to me making her feel good. I feel bad because I’ve explained to her that I don’t really have much feeling down there but she is still determined (as an experienced lesbian) and I can see her try to hide her disappointment when she can tell I’m kind of putting on a show. Sex is very important to her I know, and i do have fun and want to keep doing it, I just feel like this is creating a divide.
i really really love her, how can I end sex in a way that makes her know that I enjoyed it but not be like. ‘Okay, thanks,,, I’m,,,, done now”
(we communicate very well and I’ve basically told her all of this already, I know she can’t help how she feels)