An older girl (38) here, been dating the same guy for a bit over 3 years now, he’s on the younger side (30) and we broke up and made up 2 times, and about 2 months ago the third time.
Prior to the recent breakup, things were actually going very well, he was making more time for me, remember the things I say, takes me to places I wanna go etc, and then out of the blue, he said he’s not sure and needs to break up.
First time in 3 years we had a proper deep talk (as he’s the type that can’t deal with emotions and has difficult time to communicate how he feels), and he told me he isn’t ready to be in a relationship, because he’s not at where he wants to be at in life yet. And that he’s tried very hard in the last few months to become a great partner, and hoping he’ll eventually be ready, he just isn’t.
He mention a few times that he’s still got a lot of trauma from his childhood and that the more he doesn’t wants to become his dad (who was never around since he was a a kid and mom needs to work extra jobs to raise him), the more he realises he’s becoming like him, but he just can’t help it.
A big brother figure told me that while he doesn’t agree with my ex’s behaviour, he says it’s actually very true that men have this innate feeling that they need to be the provider, and if they don’t feel they can provide, they would choose to leave.
Any men been thru a similar situation and what made you change? Thanks.
Ps. I can take harsh answer, I kind of already have an answer, which is, because he doesn’t love me enough to want to make the change.