To start, I’m 35(M) I’ve been single for about 3 years now from a serious relationship.
I have four girlfriends and I don’t want that to sound shitty…I have tried for a more serious relationship with all of them but they don’t want it. All of them want to be FWBs and I don’t mind it because I hate being lonely. I DO want a serious relationship, though. I’m 35. I’d much rather stay in, make dinner, make out and binge a TV show than get drunk at a bar.
But here’s the weird thing and I’m curious if anyone else has this problem:
Sometimes, and it’s ALL AT ONCE, their texts and phone calls will turn dull and non-engaging. So I’m like “I guess they’ve got other things going on” and I’ll stop texting and calling. If they want to talk to me, they’ll engage me. AND THEY WONT. For weeks. I’ll even write them out of my life.
But then one day out of the blue they will all text me at once. SAME DAY. I’m not joking. And then I’m back to actual engaging texts and also juggling multiple partners. It gets stressful.
I’m just curious if anyone else has experienced this phenomenon. It’s been the story of my life. Is there a science behind it? Is it the moon, the seasons, subliminal messages, or something in the water?
PS I don’t use social media so they’re not picking up on social media cues.
1 comment
It’s not for sure why people leave and come generally around the same time. Reasons people pull back generally are related to them not feeling interested/no connection, miscommunication, they’re talking to someone they like more and it’s developing, they’re seeing attention, they get bored, not the right fit, etc. I think when you think and worry in the early stages you aren’t necessarily being natural or yourself. Do you ask quest and keep the conversations engaging? How do the dates go? What age range are these women you talk to? How to you start talking, via a dating app or something else? It helps to date more than one person you aren’t too focused on one and don’t have your eggs in one basket. As well as if things don’t work out you want be too upset cause you’re talking to others and compare their qualities/traits/connections. But if you don’t feel comfortable then maybe only progress with one or two women and that’s all. Have you ever asked them why they came back?
My new boyfriend and I didn’t have a straightforward start to our relationship. I added him on FB in November, he lived in a further city, still in my state. He asked to meet me a few times. I got sick one of the times we were supposed to meet. There was bad winter weather another day. But I was also going through a rough time, some burned with work, getting over depression, and talking/dating a different local guy. I stopped talking to my now bf and dated the other guy. Things didn’t work out and he broke up with me end of January. My now bf actually dated someone else in January too and they also broke up at the same time. We reconnected, I reached out to him. We met at a community event we both had friends at. We clicked, a few days later we met halfway for our first date. The rest is history!