its been 1 Year & 6 Months since we got together. I’d like to believe that we’ve been happy throughout the whole time we’ve been together. But there was several times I doubted our relationship, I always told myself that there is no such thing as compatibility but instead if you’re willing to work through it, you’ll end up happy. Is this true?
Here goes, I live in Malaysia where our language is usually jumbled up, but with language you also get split into different parts and communities (for the sake of being easy to understand I’ll just call them worlds.) So I’m someone that loves English, its my main language even though I’m Chinese. So I would say I predominantly reside on the English World, where things more open minded and we use TikTok, X and you get the idea. One day, I fell in love with a girl from the Chinese World, where things are more close minded and they use Dou Yin and other Chinese apps. Since I came from a Chinese Family, I ended being able to understand their mindset and use their apps to interact with my Girlfriend.
This is where the hesitation starts coming in, I have friends, and we’ve been busy but recently I was able to go out again with them. I found out that I had so much more fun with my friends, that damn I’ve never experienced this much fun with my Girlfriend, ever. So I questioned myself, she is right for me if I’ve never felt the same with her as with my friends?
My first Idea was to have her join my friend group, so we could have fun together. But my friend predominantly from the “English World” their jokes and conversations are gonna come from memes and social media that My girlfriend would never understand. Some random day, I decided to ask her if she wanted to meet with my friends, she declined “I’m not really sure if I ever want to meet them”. Which hurt because, I wanted her to join my friend group, that she would understand me more and we could get along better.
For those that are gonna say, why don’t I try to understand her better, I am within the “Chinese World” too, I watch whatever she shows me, and I understand them. But If I ever show her something from the “English World” she would never understand. and for the record, I’ve met both of her best friends. I’ve shown her some memes which I thought was funny but the reaction she gave me made me never want to show her anymore.
In the future, I do want to spend a lot of time with my friends, and I don’t know if she would ever understand why I do. Even going out with my friends for a day, she doesn’t feel okay with it.
and In the future, she plans to move to somewhere that’s a 4 hours drive away from my hometown, and the way she says it indicates that she wants me to move with her. Which in my mind could never happen cause my single parent mother will have to live alone.
If someone ever told me, what I’ve wrote above, I would tell them to break up, its better for her and for you. But my fucking god I love her. I love her soooo much. I can’t bare the idea of making her cry, and I can’t bare the idea of leaving her alone. I hate myself for even thinking of ending our relationship. Should I break up, or hold on longer, and try even harder?
TLDR: I found out me and my girlfriend are incompatible, but I don’t want to break up.
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