I understand what apologies are and how to make them generally, but I need advice.
Someone I care a lot about, I said something and it ended up hurting them bad. When I apologized, I didn’t realize I was making it about myself until they said something about it. For context, I was talking about how I know I did something really shitty and that I should be there to help and support them, not hurt them. I only realized after the fact that even though I was trying to take responsibility and accountability, I was still making it about myself even though I wasn’t trying to. I genuinely feel awful and the way I apologized made it sound insincere and like I was making it about myself.
How do I go about apologizing without unintentionally making myself the subject of it? I want to apologize the right way, take accountability and vocalize my shortcomings while still making this entirely about them.
Do call me an idiot or stupid as all hell because I feel like I am after that. But any advice is good advice.
1 comment
Frame the apology around the impact on the person, not you. There should be nothing about you in an apology other than reassurance that you will learn from this and be better moving forward. Other than that, there should usually be no other piece about you.