background: bf (33m) and i (32f) have dated for 3 years. we fell in love and have so much fun together. we live in the bay area, which gives us endless amounts of adventure–we spend wknds hiking or cycling in near-perfect weather year round. we live ten minutes from one another and get to hang out multiple times a week. we both work and make great money. life has been a dream/honeymoon.
then 6 months ago, we moved in together on his request. i wanted to take this step for about a year or so, but my bf wanted to go slowly. he had a few tough relationships before me, and had over-involved parents growing up, so i understood his reasoning and was fine to wait. for a while after i moved in, things were \*even better\* than they were before. but recently, things have gotten tough. he has distanced himself from me — he started pursuing those activities we used to do together with friends (which is great, but it was just not communicated to me and happened overnight). he has started sharing his emotional life less with me. he has gotten obviously frustrated with me, leaving the house, and going quiet for days until he shares whatever minor indiscretion ticked him off.
im starting to walk on eggshells and feel rejected. so i told him i felt hurt and have missed spending time together, and he said he was sorry to hear it but also that he didn’t know until now and couldn’t be help responsible for it before he told me. i told him i wasn’t trying to blame him, just express my needs. its gone on and on like that until i just dropped it.
i don’t know if its an epidemic — my gfs out here all seem to meet these wonderful men with sliiiiiiight peter pan-ish syndrome and stay together blissfully for years until they take \*the next step\*, whether its marriage, kids, living together. i have tried to talk to my bf about it, but he says nothing is going on and to just let it be and forget it. what do i do?
tldr: bf of 3 years suddenly distant after living together, what gives?