I (20f) and my girlfriend (22f) have been together for a year now,but we have known each other for a lot longer,our relationship is great,we communicate,we feel understood,we rarely fight but lately we have been fighting about this specific topic.
My girlfriend likes to dominate,which is totally fine with me giving I am a sub but the thing is,she never lets me do anything and I mean anything,I can’t initiate a kiss (during sex),I can’t touch her and it’s been getting on my nerves,I like the attention I really do but I wanna have my fun pleasuring her too,it’s been making me insecure,I don’t know if I am bad at it or not but she isn’t telling me I am,just outright refusing to let me do anything.
I have talked to her numerous times about this and she gets defensive each time,asking if I don’t like being her sub anymore (not true btw),if she is doing something wrong,if I wanna find someone new or why do I feel the need to take charge and initiate things.
Another point is that I am starting to get tired of our sessions,like physically tired because I am the one experiencing everything and don’t get me wrong it always feels amazing but I am genuinely starting to get exhausted and the experience now just feels like I hired a prostitute to pleasure me,I know its horrible to say but it’s true,she has never let me see her fully naked before which really makes me feel weird.
Has anyone gone through this?like your dom just outright refusing to let you take the lead sometimes?can people even gain pleasure from just simply giving others pleasure?I don’t know I am really confused and I want some advise and maybe others can understand her perspective better.