I have a relatively low libido but I’m definitely not asexual and I still get aroused by women, it just feels like i don’t particularly want to do a lot of the things you’re expected to do during sex.
I like the idea of pleasuring someone, but kissing, caressing, cunnilingus, fingering, even getting head… I don’t really feel much inside besides a vague sense of satisfaction if they’re enjoying it.
Shouldn’t my serotonin and oxytocin and shit be going wild?
Is this an indicator that perhaps I’m not as attracted as I should be to a sexual partner?
Could porn have desensitised me somehow to real sex?
I ask myself: if I had my way with a woman and could do whatever I found sexy with her, what would it be? Probably still these things that I don’t seem to feel much when I do.
However also some kink stuff (I have a few kinks which are more fantasy and practically impossible to indulge with a partner) – could it be that these kinks are somehow diminishing the pleasure I feel from doing more mundane things in bed?
It’s hard to feign intense passion and obvious when someone isn’t, so I’m not too sure what I should do about this.