My boyfriend (19M) and I, (20F) have been together for a year. Since the beginning of the relationship, I noticed he is very anxious and when stressed out, he tends to shut down. We have been working on communication and I think that he has improved with sharing his stresses and feelings with me. However, he still has a pessimistic outlook on life and gets really anxious when anything goes wrong, but doesn’t really take active steps to fix it. For example, if he woke up feeling unwell it would stress him out immensely, but he wouldn’t look online for advice or book an appointment, he’d just tolerate it. I think it’s noteworthy that he lost his father very suddenly during childhood, and went back to school without processing the death. For that reason, he doesn’t want to speak to his mum about what he’s going through, because he doesn’t want to be a burden on her/feels like she has it worse than him.
I myself have struggled with SH in the past and have ADHD so I am not unfamiliar to mental illness. I encourage him so often to see a counsellor, which is free via our university. He’s convinced talking therapy doesn’t work but I still encourage him to go. His family life is complicated so he won’t speak to any of them. His friends are mainly from secondary so he doesn’t really open up with them. I’ve also suggested he starts a hobby, tries to reach out to people on his course to make friends, write a diary or say affirmations but idk if he’s actually going to take my advice.
I know we’re young but I really think we have the potential to get married one day if he gets over his trauma and learns to love himself. His positive days are so amazing and he’s the sweetest most charismatic person ever but when he becomes stressed he’s like a different person. Any advice on how I can help him help himself? or what I can do?
tldr- my bf is anxious and refusing to get help.