**TL;DR;: my BF engages in recreational drug use when with his friend. I want to move forward with him but not when he engages in this behaviour. Help.
So I’ve (21F) been seeing my bf (24M) for around six months now, but prior to that we had known each other as acquaintances for 4 years. I’m getting to the point in the relationship and within my life now where I want to move forward. For context I’m currently living at home studying for my Masters (neither of which I’m particularly enjoying) and starting my teacher training in September. He has a place of his which he pays extortionate rent on, and has for the past few months -to no avail- been planning on moving in with his friend, who we’ll call Dave.
Now don’t get me wrong, Dave is a lovely guy, I’ve known him the same amount of time as BF but he regularly abuses substances. I hate drugs apart from grass (which being all natural I don’t have an issue with), but my BF does take substances whenever he’s on a night out with Dave. I’ve told him not to do it around me, or else I will flip my switch.
Now at the weekend, I was staying at BF’s and Dave came over to watch football. Before the game started we were planning on hitting the shops for some food, so I went into the bedroom to get ready, walked back into the living room and BF rather (or to me anyway) suspiciously chucked what looked like a small bag behind an object as soon as I walked in. After that I quickly left without asking BF what was going – which in hindsight would have been the better idea. On the bus home I accused him of doing c*ke which he vehemently denied, and in the process I hurt him because he feels like I don’t trust him. But honestly how do I trust him when I know it’s something he does?? I’d really rather him give it up completely but I feel like as long as he’s friends with Dave (especially if they are moving in) it won’t happen.
I really do love him, he is the sweetest man, and I want to move forward with him and maybe even move in together in the next year but I don’t know how this can happen when all the above is happening.
I don’t know how to move forward or out of this situation, and I’d really rather not let him go – what do I do??