I’ll start it off by saying that I never really had friends or people to talk to growing up outside of family that’d often neglect me choosing my sibling over me and going through lots of bullying in school for how shy I was. I’m lucky enough to just have 1 friend who cares about me, but it just doesn’t feel like one person can handle all my social needs and sometimes gets irritated by how often I poke them, so I try to distance myself to keep it healthy and respectable.
The thing is I’m turning 25 soon without any luck of making connections. I work from home due to circuimtances too personal to go into and don’t have any collegues, sometimes I’ll go eat out by myself, to just have strangers around me for a bit and I like to go for exercises often to get off the screen more often also.
Tried out branching into new hobbies to get out of my comfort zone, got into indoor gardening recently f.ex I’m also interested in fitness as I’ve mentioned, really love cooking all sorts of food, love drawing arts and doing crafts, sometimes I’ll play some video games that’s pretty fun, done some small IT projects, have attempted playing some tabletop and much more.
Unfortunately despite my best efforts it just doesn’t seem to work out, people seem to treat me like a ghost, despite trying my best to be helpful. So I was just wondering if there’s any chance my cravings for a decent social life are just going to go away as I get older. I really love hanging out with people the few times it has happened, just doesn’t seme like I am built for it.
2 comments
Yes, your cravings for a decent social life will decrease with time. Kindle app is great, Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse is a great book, some say the true story of the Buddha… peace in solitude
Ask yourself how relatable are you to these other people?
I’m in a similar situation, where I’m growing apart from friend groups and alot of people in general although I have had friends a decent amount in my life.
In my situation, I moved away after the military and started school, making a few friends through a few meetup groups. Now, it’s been hard to keep up with alot of friends and people in general due to the fact school comes first however, the friends I have made, most don’t ask me out to do anything despite the fact I usually initated first. And there are two reasons for it:
1) I’m working hard to improve my future, and their not. They don’t mind being where they are at in life, however a few seemed alittle envious of what I’m doing although they don’t tell me personally, they express it through their actions.
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2) I wasn’t fully relatable to them. The friends I made were on the geekier side, however they spend most of their time and money on getting the latest game, keeping up with whaterver anime/show/gaming trends at all times. I didn’t, both due to school and also because I have other interests. Although a few do like me, they would rather spend time with people more like them. And they are also not doing half of the work I’m doing. I realized hoping for more from them is not a good idea. I would need to find friends who are more in a similar position where I am, or, try to branch out with more similar hobbies when I have the time again. Or, perhaps move on to some other interest.
But the takeaway from here is, you need to reflect deeply and ask how relatable are you to them? How much do you share in common? And what can you do, based on your values, interests, and goals, to move towards more similar people, and if you need to change, what needs to change?