How do I(26f) tell my boyfriend(26m) it’s disgusting that he doesn’t wash his hands after taking a shit?

43 comments

1. That’s a job that his mom was supposed to cover.

   Don’t parent grown men. Find someone that’s already what you want.

2. Couldn’t be me

   I’d just let Shitfingers McGee poison himself as I rode off into the sunset

3. Get a lot of UTIs, do you?

4. Nah that’s hazardous girl some people get paid extra to deal with what you’re dealing with, and you’re doing it for FREE?! Couldn’t be me

5. “It’s disgusting that you don’t wash your hands after shitting. I’m breaking up with you because of it”.

6. Ummm i cant fathom how you stayed with him for 3 yrs….imagine him taking your hands in his……..after a poop….ewww

7. That’s absolutely disgusting 😅 instant ick. He’s a grown man, can’t wash his hands after taking a shit is wild. Probably spreads the fecal matter everywhere when he touches shit lol.

8. Ok that’s gross. I would totally tell him he’d better start washing his hands after using the bathroom or I’m walking away.

9. Girl ew. Raise your standards. This is gross

10. Find somebody else. Imagine every time you hold his hand. Some fecal matter will come on your fingers. Yuccckk. And imagine the kind of dirt that is in his nails. How did you stay in a relationship for four years with such a stinko?

11. You’ve known for a year, talked about it for a year, nothing has changed, and you’re still together. I don’t know whose kink it is but I hope you’re enjoying it.

12. You need to get GTF out of dodge and move on to a person who doesn’t wear faeces as a glove.

    Edit: HTF do you have sex? Sorry to be so blunt…but HOW??

13. A normal person would dump a filthy fool like that

14. Turns out that not washing his hands isn’t an issue because he isn’t wiping either.

15. This is him, it’s who he is. This is who you’ve chosen to be with.
    If I did something and my loved one thought it was truly gross I would stop. He doesn’t want to change for you, even this which is a basic request all humans would ask of him

16. I’d just leave. Being completely honest the hands are the only things my sister does wash on her. She said she doesn’t need to bathe or shower.

17. If you are dead set on this not being a deal breaker ask why he doesn’t wash his hands and go from there. Have to know someone why before you can work on convincing them otherwise.

18. Post medical articles regarding handfasting and medical issues pink eye, e-coli, uti’s, to name a few highlight fecal on hands. Then dump his disgusting shitty hand a$$.

19. The better question is, why are you still with someone with bad hygiene?

20. I would refuse to let him touch me at all. That is disgusting.

21. Leave. Do not collect $200, just leave.

22. How do you fuck this guy? Like what? How can you let him finger you with poopy hands?

23. next time you have your period, make sure he knows, and casually drop that you never wash your hands after changing tampon/pad/cup. see how quickly his attitude changes.

24. We deserve what we tolerate.

25. i saw a clip on twitter of two women doing a podcast (barstool) and they were talking about how they don’t wash hands at all and one of the lady in the video said that in the previous generation, people never used to wash hands and they were much healthier. She also had the gall to say that she doesn’t trust people who wash their hands. This is why we need to ban podcasts.

    rant aside, your bf is disgusting and you should break up with him just for this alone.

26. Yall don’t be embarrassed to come on Al Gore’s internet to tell everyone you’re bumping uglies with someone who doesn’t wash their hands? Not like you just found out. You knew this for 3 years and didn’t say this is disgusting I’m not dealing with this instead you’re going to tell his mother? 🤣🤣 girl please find some self respect

27. In three years you’ve never seen him wash his hands after he shits, and you are still dating him?

28. This is literally just basic hygiene and it’s nasty AF he can’t understand that. Would be an absolute deal breaker for me.

29. “Hey, I’m not prepared to be a mom just yet, so I think we need to separate. I didn’t think I’d need to remind anyone over the age of 3 that they need to wash their hands after using the bathroom. ”

    Pee. And poop. And BEFORE COOKING even if they had washed hands X amount of time ago. And before sex even if they had washed hands X amount of time ago. etc etc etc.

    I promise you, he ain’t worth it.

30. Why are you even with him? You know there’s a high probability that you’ve been fingered by shit fingers. 

    Man’s a biohazard that should be kicked out your life immediately. 

31. >I’m almost at the point where I’m thinking about telling his mother.

    Who do you think never taught him to wash his hands? His parents.

32. dump Typhoid Mark and tell everyone you know he doesn’t wash his hands after shitting as a public service, because from what i gather even, if he starts “washing” his hands it’ll only ever be when someone’s watching

33. Bring it up the next time you are out with a large group of friends. He will get rightly savaged, and either correct his behavior or break up with you. Either way, problem solved.

34. You would be amazed. As a guy on men’s toilets I wish I could unsee what I had to see. From just out of pampers to near dead, so many people don’t wash their hands after doing any kind of business.

    Tbh. it depends how deeply it’s ingrained. Send him to the bathroom and supervise him every time he tries to touch you or your food.

    Or just tell him he’s disgusting and leave.

35. If, for some reason, you’re considering staying with him in spite of what appears to be a deal breaker for you (and reasonably so), try to be more compassionate in your approach.

    To clarify, I’m not at all implying that it should be your responsibility to teach a grown man about proper hygiene, but no one will ever be receptive to harsh criticism (even if it’s well deserved). Acknowledge with him that bringing up the topic of his failure to maintain basic hygiene not only makes you extremely uncomfortable, but it’s also putting him at risk for getting sick and that you want to make sure you’re both setting each other up to be safe (especially when it comes to preparing food or being intimate).

    The above is a suggestion only IF this hasn’t already soiled your view of him completely and you’re stubbornly committed to trying to change what has been a life long habit for him. Godspeed…

36. Hands should be washed after pee or poop

37. This is a real problem. I get some guys are less worried about washing their hands after peeing. I have been in construction, been camping, and been in the field where we pee then eat without washing our hands. We don’t have to wipe for pee, so it happens. I have seen some girls do it too, especially when at things like out door concerts or drunk parades/street parties.

    The part about shitting, he can get and give all kinds of illnesses from being this dirty.

    So, I also get nagging. I’m sorry, girls are clean in somethings and messes in others. Saying that so you don’t take the, “I’m clean, your dirty, do what I am telling you.” That sits like his mom telling him what to do. The whole women not wanting to be a man’s mom but trying to correct his behavior from a position of power puts her in that role.

    So instead come from something you learned kind of approach. Who educationally does he listen to online? Then do a google search on that person and bacteria. If there isn’t anything which might be the case, then just look up how to detect bacteria and ways to prevent cross contamination. Maybe start with talking about ECOLI or some other food bacteria scare. Then the next time, come from a, “I’m scared of getting a stomach bug, could you wash your hands again?”

    The last piece, just buy him some hand soap you like. Take to smelling his hands and talking about how nice they smell. The next time he poops and doesn’t wash his hands, smell his hand, mention it smells like poop not the soap you got, and then mention how you got it just for him and he isn’t using it. Then it is more about the thing you bought for him over nagging him. The reinforcement will be good and makes you less nagging and more improving.

38. I personally don’t think I could be intimate with someone that wasn’t washing their hands after using the toilet. And I would just tell him that. If I can’t trust you to wash your hands after going to the bathroom like every other adult then I don’t think I can continue an intimate relationship with you. Hell I’m married and been with my husband 8 and a half years and if I found out he’d not been washing his hands all this time I’d definitely be reconsidering our intimacy levels until I could trust him to *wash himself* my goodness.

39. You can get Hepatitis A from faecal matter

40. The moment that was revealed, I would have left to sanitize myself and everything he has ever touched and then myself again, and then spray him down with disinfectant, and dump him. Maybe not in that order, but definitely all of that.

    I’d also call his mother and ask her ”WHAT THE FREAKING F?!”

    The fact that you stayed after learning of this shitty behaviour… ”shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice” comes to mind.

41. Girl, have some respect for yourself and dump his ass

42. How was the sequence events not this:

    1: Poopy McGee doesn’t wash his hands after pooping
    2: Poopy McGee is now your ex boyfriend

    I guess you have some sort of scat fetish or something? You’ve already told him it’s disgusting, not sure what advice you’re looking for?

    He is clearly incapable of being an adult. You should have rapidly assessed this relationship the moment you saw this happen the first time.

    I feel a bit sick thinking about it. Ugh.

43. Maybe he doesn’t wipe so his hands don’t get dirty?