Hi,
Me \[M/22\] and my girlfriend \[F/23\] are college students and have been together for 2+ years. She goes to the dog park daily and doesn’t have a lot of friends so I’m always happy for her when she’s excited about making some there. Their dogs can play, and she has someone to talk to, I’m all for it.
But a couple months ago she befriended a guy \[26-30 range supposedly?\] who recently moved to our area. I took notice when he invited her to meetup a couple times outside of the dog park. At first it was to go hiking with their dogs. Later on, he asked her to come with him and his friend to go to a comedy club. She didn’t attend either of these, but I initially encouraged her to go because she has good morals and I really trust her.
Though tonight, I get off work and called her to ask if I could stop by and drop some leftover food off which is something I regularly do. When she answers I hear a lot of noise in the background and think nothing of it and ask if I could come over. She says she’s not home and that she’s at a bar drinking, note its 10:30pm when I called. I’m already taken back because she is a major homebody, this is unheard of. I ask who she’s with and she gives me a name I’ve never heard before. I ask who’s that and she gives me a nickname I also don’t recognize (she gives everyone at the dog park a fitting nickname). Still clueless, I ask who again and she says, “I’ll tell you later”. Come to find out he has two nicknames because when I suggest his other one, she said yea that guy. confused I go “oh… okay” and she finished the call by saying I could stop by when she’s home and that was that.
I was perplexed, like I said I trust her, but something just didn’t sit right. I assume while I was at work, he invited her to go when they were at the park. I haven’t had the chance to talk with her because she came back at 11:40pm and I was too tired to get into that yet. But I mean it’s quite an intimate setting for just the 2 of them, and what also upset me was the fact she never told me in advance either. I question if she would’ve ever told me if I never called, but that I’ll never know. I’m not accusing her of anything, but I feel like it’s obvious this guy isn’t just a being friendly. I also question if he’s aware that she has a boyfriend.
I’ll get more information on it when I see her tomorrow, and I’ll give her a chance to explain. But even with information already given, isn’t the situation in itself already alarming? If the roles were reversed and I did that with a girl I met, I imagine I’d be accused of cheating. I highly doubt she slept with him considering she invited me over after, but this still feels like emotional cheating. We’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch and have uncertainty about our future together, especially since we graduate and won’t live in the same state anymore here soon. It’s possible she’s preparing for us to call it when that time comes, part of me is too with how dry it’s been between us the past couple months. And if that’s how it ends, I’d still love and respect her a tremendously and will always look out for her and would hope to remain friends. But for the time being, we’re still together, and so it’s a matter of principle.
Normally she’s very open and keeps me involved with what she’s got going on. Even if it was nothing, strictly friends, I don’t know that, shouldn’t I get a heads up? Why do I have to find out the way I did, did she not consider how this looks and what I might assume, or care for that matter? What would you think, how would you react?
TL;DR! – My girlfriend recently went drinking at a bar with a guy she met at the dog park a couple months ago and didn’t bother mentioning it to me. I only find out after I called her asking to come over, only to find out she wasn’t even home and was out with the guy who’s previously invited her out to go hiking and a comedy club already.
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Thanks for your time and any comments.
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Edit: She did not partake in the first two invites but the third one she did. I thought I stated that my bad.