Hello r/Sex community,
I’m reaching out for a bit of advice and perhaps some reassurance. After over 20 years of marriage, I find myself divorced and contemplating the future of my personal and romantic life. My situation is somewhat unique because, during my marriage, I was sexually active only with my ex-wife, who was also my first and only partner.
The reason I’m seeking advice is my concern about how my limited sexual experience might affect future relationships. My ex-wife and I explored our sexuality exclusively with each other, and we learned a lot over the years. However, she eventually cheated, which was confirmed through an unexpected HPV diagnosis, revealing aspects of our relationship I was oblivious to. Moreover, during the last 10 years of our marriage, our sexual encounters became increasingly infrequent, dwindling to less than five times a year. This further complicates my feelings, as it’s been a long time since I’ve had a regular sexual relationship.
The core of my worry is this: I’m not sure how to approach intimacy in a new relationship, considering my limited and, in recent years, sparse sexual experience. While I’ve learned to read my partner over many years, I recognize that every individual is different, and starting over feels daunting. While I am not in a relationship now, how do I navigate the complexities of new intimate relationships with this background? Is my lack of variety in sexual experience likely to be seen as a drawback by potential partners?
I value openness and communication, but I’m also aware that sex is an important aspect of most romantic relationships. I want to approach this part of my life with confidence and openness, willing to learn and grow, but I could use some guidance on how to convey this to future partners without feeling inadequate or inexperienced.
Any advice, personal stories, or resources you could share would be greatly appreciated. How do you think I should approach this situation? Are there ways to frame my experience positively? How can I build confidence in this area of my life again?
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. This community seems understanding and supportive, and I’m hoping to gain some insights from your experiences.