TLDR: I am a sex worker, I slept with many men and I was also in many relationships. And it feels like the idea of love does not exist for me. I simply enjoy sex and that’s it.
As a sex worker, I have slept with countless men and it has made me feel like I am incapable of loving. I enjoy sex yes, but I do not feel attached to people I sleep with.
Due to my experience with men, I feel like I have been emotionally disconnected from love and intimacy.
Every time I have sex, it feels like I am set into a singular mindset, sex and nothing more.
I have been in a few relationships before, but they always seem to fall apart in some way, either I realize that the man I am with is no good, or they trick me in some hurtful way and leave me afterwards.
Maybe I have been conditioned to keep my emotions and personal life separate from my work, and it has become a defense mechanism for me in all interactions with men…
I know that it’s not healthy to generalize and say that all men are the same, but it’s hard not to when I have been with so many of them.
Which I don’t neccarily see as a bad thing, I am accepting of life, and the way it seems to be. It just seems to be how things are for me.