As the title says – going for lunch with my partners parents in 2 hours time been researching for weeks what to say to no avail. I’m showing up with a box of beers for dad and flowers for mum. Any advice on what to say/ how to ask in 2022, i’m hopeless at this. Please help reddit. She’s the one.
Update – thanks so much for the help everyone! All the comments are appreciated even the ones where we don’t quite agree it helped me see different perspectives. I met with them for lunch and I cant remember exactly what I said but it was something along the lines of ‘with our trip coming up i’m planning on asking her to marry me and i’d like your blessing to do so’ and a whole lot of other stuff and her Mum immediately started crying and shaking got up and hugged me, I even got a couple of tears from her old man who’s a mans man. They were over the moon and full of compliments. I know these people so well and we’re all so open but i’ve never been so nervous before. So it went very well. Towards the end of the trip we will be in NY – I plan to ask her on a helicopter ride (we both work as pilots so kind of makes sense) Can’t wait to have another Mum, Dad, Grandad, brother and 2 sisters! Thanks again!
22 comments
May I have your blessing to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage?
Should have added, we’re all very close, I know they’ll say yes but want to do it right
keep it simple. if you feel like you have to prove yourself then they won’t want you marrying her. if you have a good relationship with them and they like you, a simple “i want to marry your daughter” is all you need. don’t overthink it
When I asked my wife’s father I kept it cool but flowery.
Hey, glad I got you alone. While I have you, I was hoping you might give me your blessing to ask for your daughter’s hand in marriage.
The rest kinda drove itself.
Speak from your heart. You will say what you are meant to say when it is the right time.
You got this!
Updates, please and thank you. 😊
Yo, ive been seeing dis ho and itz yur daughter. How much money u got for our wedding?
See how that goes
>I’m showing up with a box of beers for dad and flowers for mum.
Don’t be cheesy. They wouldn’t want you to conquer them with gifts but rather know that you are the right person for their daughter. Your success depends on the relationship you have with her, what she conveys to her parents about you, and the relationship you have built with them.
If you already know them quite well, just be assertive and in a room with the 4 of you, over drinks, talks and a welcoming environment, direct the conversation for marriage and tell them you are both planning to get married.
I still think marriage is a mistake for any man in the current era. We get nothing out of it that we cannot get from simply living with our partners. But you do you. Good luck!
genuine question, but why do people do this? i know “respect for their parents” is a likely answer but aside from that? is it a cultural thing for some?
Good luck!!
The beer and flowers are already putting ahead of most. The fact you are worry about it so much shows you care, good luck
Have you asked her if she wants to marry you?
Simply just ask them and be genuine, I’m sure they will be thrilled 🙂
Dude, you’ve been researching for two weeks and you still can’t figure out how to say:
“I know this is a bit of an outdated transition, but out of respect for you, I wanted to ask anyway. I love your daughter and awful lot, I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and I want to do everything I can to make her happy. Would you give me the honour of your blessing?”
Smile whilst saying it. Good luck.
PS: compliment your mother in law’s breasts for extra sincerity.
/thread
Ask em if you get a dowry since we’re goin old school
I love _____, and I plan on asking her to marry me, I’d really appreciate it if we had your blessing to get get married/engaged… this way you’re asking for their blessing but at the same time if they say no you’re still going to ask her…
I’ve asked your daughter to spend her life with me and we would like your gracious blessing to proceed.
They’ll know your intentions as soon as you’re saying you’re meeting up with them without your gf around. And then, if that hadn’t figured it out yet, as soon as you have the beer and flowers, they’ll know. So don’t be too stressed about bringing it up.
Just start with casual convo, and then jump right into it. Tell them how much you love, value and respect their daughter. Tell them how you feel about her and what she means to you. And ask for their blessing in marriage.
I mean, it doesn’t have to be that deep. Just ensure to stay least say you love and respect her lol
First, make sure your girlfriend wants this. I would question my entire relationship if my partner did this. Second, just keep it simple and genuine. Tell them how much you love her and that you’d like to ask for their blessing.
“I am planning to ask your daughter to marry me. I wanted to ask if I have your blessing.”
Unpopular opinion though, does *she* want you to do this. If she is traditional, go for it. However, some women find it to be outdated and possibly offensive. At the end of the day, HER opinion is what matters. Make sure SHE wants this.
You say something like, “Mr. & Mrs. (name), I love your daughter very much. So much that I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I will take good care of her and I’ll treat her as best as I can. Do I have your permission to ask her to marry me?” Feel free to change the words to suit your style. Answer any questions they ask honestly.
Good luck!
All the best!
Ugh. I hate this tradition. So sexist.