When I was a child, my mother dealt with severe mental health struggles. She was diagnosed with BPD and schizophrenia. On several occasions, she attempted to commit suicide when I was between the ages of 16-20. She was my primary guardian, and the decline of her mental health forced me to have to support myself and find my own living arrangements as she opted to be homeless when I was 16 and didn’t care to seek out any resources for herself or my sibling and I.
When I turned 18, I started a new career which I rapidly advanced in. Today, I am successful, making a six figure income and living independently. My primary focus during this current phase of life is travelling the world and learning as much as I can about other cultures. I plan at least one trip abroad for myself each year. My mom has since regulated and improved her mental health from where it was, although we still are not close and only see each other for major holidays.
When I travel abroad, my mother is constantly frantic. She gets extremely worried, expects daily calls from me and consistent text messaging to ensure I’m okay. I travelled to New Zealand in November and my mom had a panic attack when I didn’t pick up the phone. I was busy at the time, but texted her to let her know I was okay and that I’d call her later. The way she was behaving really put a damper on my trip. I’m a thirty year old woman, who loves being independant, and I just want to be able to explore without having to constantly answer to my mom. I also can’t help but feel some resentment about this when I think about how neglected I was as a kid.
How do I reasonably navigate this during my future travel and communicate that her actions are too much and I need her to allow me to do my own thing?
TLDR; My mom neglected me as a kid. Now I feel she overcompensates by constantly checking in with me while I travel abroad.