Hi there R/sex. I (30M)wanna ask for help. Though I think I should hire a sextherapist but my insurance will probably take years to approve it. So the issue is that Its really hard for me to turn on my wife(30F). She definitely has some hormonal problems of her own but I am thinking that’s not the issue. The issue is me not trying hard enough and coming up with excuses of working too much and being tired. We had issues with these for probably last 3 years and we’ve been married for 5 nd together for 6.
My wife explained to me how she loves and what she wants. She explicitly interested in words of affirmation and the gestures/words/horny phrases one can read in them smut books. For some reason it’s hard for me to grasp as a concept, at least in a way that it stays with me. Another issues is that to me some of those phrases are cringe.
However I want my wife to be happy and I also want to have sex. I turn on instantly and actually usually horny every day. Maybe I just have high sex drive. We ve been having maybe 1 sex session a month and it’s weighing on me.
R/sex please provide me with concept of understanding this love language. Also if you can give me some words I can say in person and throughout the day. Maybe there is something else I can do that my logic-rock-mind can’t just get it. Also if you can help me understand why I feel some of these words are corny/cringe please do.
Also forgive my writing. Even though I have been in USA since 2009 my ESL still comes out. (If any of this matters I am russian and my wife is American, by heritage. )