I’m a baby mechanic. I struggle massively with anxiety at work that stops me from being remotely productive. I worry it makes me more likely to make mistakes. But mostly, I just need to be un-paralyzed.
I’m mostly on my own. This is to change soon, I’ll have a mentor and I think I’ll be okay. For now, I’m not alone enough to feel relaxed, but not supervised enough to feel secure.
But for now, anything that singles me out makes me want to quit on the spot. Today that’s an alignment. Driving up on the alignment rack sucks, but more than that it’s just being outside of my own work area, using communal equipment. I’ve had help for quite a few so I don’t feel good asking for help beyond a spotter for getting it on the lift. I just DO NOT want to be outside of my own work station, using equipment someone else might need, using it clumsily as a newbie, setting up slowly… It feels so intimidating. The alignment itself is fun. But just singling myself out physically and the idea that someone might look over freaks me out so bad I took a lunch for once just to try to calm down.
Wtf is this? How does everyone cope?