(Throwaway account post, not gonna post this kind of thing on main)
My wife and I are in our mid 40s, married 25 years, teenage kids. We feel like our sex lives are in a pretty good place. We intentionally make time for it. There’s lulls occasionally, but family life is busy and we both know we’ll catch back up eventually.
My wife recently brought up an interest in group sex. I tend to try to appeal to her fantasies as much as I can, as it keeps things interesting for both of us. She insists that she’s not super-interested in actually having sex with other people, and is more interested in watching others and more importantly being watched while we fool around and/or have sex with each other. Fooling around with others together may happen if we’re both comfortable with it in the future, but not directly to start with. One thing is we’re not looking to get into polyamory or open marriages or anything of that sort, at all. We considered a meetup of some sort, but one of us is in a career where getting recognized at an event like that would be very bad.
So we’re trying to figure out how exactly to make group activities work.
We have some married friends, also in their mid 40s. We hang out frequently, go out for dinner and drinks, play board games, etc. There’s quite a bit of friendly banter, sometimes diverging into a lot of innuendo. My wife and I discussed it a bit and we feel like they’d be a great match for this kind of thing, if they’d agree to it. Therein lies the rub though. How do we go about bringing up a topic like that? Where do we even start? On top of that, we consider them pretty good friends and we’d hate to screw that up, which something like this could possibly (probably?) result in.
We’re obviously fine with this staying just a fantasy and not pursuing it at all, should that be the decision we ultimately come to.
Any advice?