My (34F) and my husband (38M) have been married for 15 years, together for 17. The past 3 or 4 Anniversaries we just kind of forgot. We realize later on, or a family member would call to say congratulations.
Well it happened again; we are on the phone while me and our son are shopping and he suddenly stops and then goes “we are both dumbasses” in my mind I’m thinking we both forgot something important like a bill or a doctor appointment. No, it was our anniversary March 19th. We both chuckled and say we’ll have a makeup date.
People tell us its weird; like we don’t love each other enough to remember. We have two kids (13F) and (9M) and we have busy lives, between the kids school, both of us working and spending the weekends as a family… We forget. We don’t think its a big deal, but others do.
20 comments
It’s not at all a big deal if you don’t want it to be. You do you, fuck what others think.
If for both of you it is not a big deal, then it is not a big deal. No matter what others say as long as you have a happy marriage
If it works for both of you that’s all that matters.
You are fine! My husband and I are the same. Committed, happily married for 30+ years. We’ve forgotten our anniversary a few times and just laughed about it.
For some people it might be really important to celebrate anniversaries but if it isn’t for your relationship then why does it matter if you forget? Who cares what others think!
I don’t think it matters as all if the two of you don’t care. Most days like that can be so filled with expectations they get ruined anyways.
Its totally fine. Me and my husband tend to celebrate more the day we got together but only because it is new years day and easy to remember. We only remember our wedding anniversary because someone will share a picture of our wedding on Facebook. Thank God for Facebook lol
Your last paragraph says it all. Yall in the thick of it with your kids ages. Dont be hard on yourself cuz somebody else was offended lol.
Hahaha..my husband and I have done this the past 3 years! His mom sends us a gift card in the mail and we just look at each other blankly. We’ve been married 18 years and we only celebrated this year because I wrote it down in my phone calendar. Good times.
No, there’s nothing wrong with you.
Same with me and mine we forget all the time it takes a fam member or friend and then we both crack up about it. We also love each other very much he’s my soul.
If it wasn’t for family calling and congratulating us ever year we would forget. We’ve been married 13 years and it’s so close to other holidays we just forget.
I totally get you!! After my first anniversary with my hubby and being so disappointed (he planned a trip for us but then as soon as we entered the hotel room he called his best friend to come hang out with us!! oh boy! ha ha) I decided to not get too caught up in the day. That is ME though…we also don’t really do birthdays and just aren’t “celebratory” people and that works for the two of us. If one of us needed more…than I suppose that would be different.
So- it sounds like maybe you both are that way? Do either of you care and not really sharing that it hurts that you don’t celebrate or have forgotten? If that is the case then just make sure next year is different.
I will say this…year 10 (we had a three year old and 2 year old) we decided to do something nice and after that year we have made an effort that we get a weekend away every single year together on or near our anniversary. Sometimes it is just camping…sometimes a local town we visit..when we moved to Colorado we have goals of hitting all the mountain towns. One year we rented a motorcycle which was fun. That has been such a wonderful fun time for us. WE did allow life to take over and sometimes and that getaway is always huge. WE are getting ready for 25 and def will go somewhere fun.
If you both are healthy and happy in marriage….then celebrate however you want!! Other people show love different or need different things in their marriage. Congrats on 15 years btw…I love that- and getting that far might have something to do with sounds like you are pretty go with the flow and flexible!! LOVE it!
We both forgot our first and third. Who forgets the first? LOL Its fine, marriages are what you both put into it. Celebrate something else, like the first time you both tried Gelato together LOL. Sounds like your both on the same page, and that is what really matters.
LOL yup, same here. Been together over 20yrs and our last anniversary we were like “oh damn, our anniversary is this weekend!” which was then followed with a (jokingly) “you forgot! GASP!” “no, YOU forgot! GASP!!”.
seriously though, forget what others think. There are plenty of other ways to celebrate your lives together on the daily and sometimes, shit happens and you just forget things….it’s not a barometer for how much you love each other.
It is fine. My wife and I remember but it is not a thing were we go all out on that day. We just may stay in for dinner. Exchange cards. I will get her flowers. It is not WTH moment if would forget.
Me and my husband literally have to look at the marriage license to remember our anniversary and it’s only been a year lol
Nope, I do the same thing
No, sometimes life gets in the way…I got so busy this past year I forgot two important death anniverseries…
> People tell us its weird; like we don’t love each other enough to remember
People are rude and need to mind their own business. If you are both happy in your marriage and with the way you handle anniversaries, that’s all that matters.
ETA: and this comes from someone who loves anniversaries. In fact, my husband and I discussed doing a mini ‘thru-hike’/multi-day hike for our 15th anniversary just a few days ago, even though we are still over a year away :D. You do you.
Nah no big S long as you both are truly in the same page. It’s just a date in time. Like some people want to die at age milestones (30, 40, 50 for example) there are many others that don’t care.