My male friend of 4 years keeps inviting me to events and occasions that I would consider to be something I’d only invite my significant other to, not a mere friend. Like Christmas and thanksgiving with their family and other family dinners where no other close friends are invited, or as their plus 1 to awards ceremonies etc. I decline these invitations but make up the reason why.
The thing is, I ’m fine spending time with him one-on-one — if it’s for something casual or focused on an event or activity. But I wouldn’t want to go camping with him with nothing to do, for example.
And I’m fine hanging out around holidays— If it’s with other friends as well or not on the *day* of the holiday (that’s for family). I don’t want it to be me, him, and his family… that’s odd and too personal tbh.
I havent outright said any of this but I have denied all his equests to spend holidays together (since their divorce, at least) and have not spent time with them on something like Valentine’s Day, because I did not want to give the wrong impression….
I have never invited him to one of my family dinners or Christmas or anything, if that matters…
**is there a way I can address this without it sounding weird or hurting his feelings or the friendship? **
He’s very rejection sensitive and I’m worried he will hear “you’re not family and you’re not important enough to spend time with” when I just want more … boundaries, I guess?
It’s not explicitly stated, but he seems to want more emotional intimacy than I want to give him, and even acts a little entitled to my time sometimes; like he’ll try to get around my “no’s”, whether he knows he’s doing it or not idk. …