My boyfriend, who I’ve been with for 6 months, is still friends with his ex from when he was 17. I was OK with this at first as I understand they’re all part of the same friend group from high school and it had been years since they dated or done anything (as he had told me), but he keeps revealing things that make me wonder if I can trust him.
1. He invited her to a small new years gathering at his place where I met her, he didn’t tell me his ex was coming until a day before but had kept telling me thag his friend Abby would be (that’s the ex).
2. He told me they weren’t really friends but they definitely seemed a lot closer that he made it seem. He explained it that his ex was better friends with the others in they group than she was with him, that’s why she was invited.
3. He didn’t tell her that I knew they used to date, so I’m guessing in her mind that I had no clue. At this party everyone’s talking about dating and she suddenly slaps her hand on his legs and starts rubbing it saying “omg, remember when we used to date” and they rest of the night she kept giving him these long heart eyed looks.
He claimed he didn’t notice any of this.
4. I tell him I was uncomfortable with that and I understand they’re friends but I’d rather not be around her again and I’d like for him to do the same. I asked for him never to see her 1 on 1 which he agreed to.
5. Yesterday he tells me that when his last girlfriend broke up with him, he got drunk then went to Abby and slept with her, this was 2 years ago, which is a lot more recently than the “I haven’t been with her in 7 years” that’s he’s told me previously.
He keeps telling me he loves me and only wants me, but knowing what he went back to Abby when his last girlfriend lef him and that he’s still friends with Abby, has made me really not trust him. He tells me he can completely cut her out and not talk or hang out with her again but I feel I shouldn’t have to ask him to do that, he know how upset I am, especially the first time I met her before I had this extra info, he should cut her off completely without needing to be told to.
Do I leave? How do I talk it out? Will I seem too controlling if I ask him to completely cut her out
TL;DR boyfriend is still friends with his ex and has more of a history with her than just a short high-school fling that he initially led me to believe.