I (29F) will keep with short and brief, sometime last year, fall/winter I had matched with guy ‘B’ (32M) on Hinge. We briefly talked but the conversation died and we never got to setting up a first date. At the same time I had also been matched with another guy before guy B. The chemistry was there and we hit it off and I got off Hinge. A few months go by and unfortunately nothing comes of this situation.
About 4-5 weeks ago I joined Hinge once again to start the dating cycle. Maybe a few days go by and Guy B swipes on me. I decide to give it another shot as he does match some of the qualities I am looking for in a potential partner. This time I take it seriously and we chat for a few days before meeting on a first day.
During these 4-5 weeks several time he would jokingly brings up me ‘ghosting’ him months ago, I laugh it off but at one point I ask him why does he keep bringing this up and if it bothers him so much why did he swipe on me again? He responded with ‘that’s what I’m still trying to figure out’
I’m starting to get annoyed with this because personally, if it would have been me in his place I wouldn’t have bothered matching with him, I would have just moved on. But I assumed he must have been really interested enough to match again.
A few days ago, we are in a heated argument about this topic once again and he is insisting that I ghosted him and how it was wrong and I should apologize for it.
From my perspective I don’t feel like I did anything wrong, I had tried explaining the situation about how I had already met someone before him and deleted the app to see if I can create a relationship with that person. None of it was personal and from my perspective our conversation didn’t go anywhere so it wasn’t done maliciously. He was getting frustrated and said; ‘You ghosted me to fuck another guy. It’s not something I can just forget.’
Btw it’s only been 4-5 weeks of talking/dating Guy B. We are not yet serious or officially BF/GF. We are still getting to know each other. He genuinely seems like a nice guy but to hold on something that happened months ago that wasn’t intentional seems too harsh.
I wouldn’t have minded apologizing about it, if that’s really all he wanted. Being ghosted is a shitty feeling if there is a connection or you’ve went out on multiple dates etc. I can understand where he was coming from. but in this case we only exchanged a few texts before the conversation died…i guess that is where I feel indifferent. I don’t think we had a connection the first time. So his words made me feel like he was accusing me of doing something terrible to him. And I feel bad for it.
I’m honestly not sure if I’m in the wrong. Online dating is weird, should I have reached out to him all those months ago (after having not texted him for days/maybe weeks) that I wasn’t interested?
Personally, I don’t take offense if someone ghosts me, I feel like that it happens for a good reason. And to the people that did ghost me, I typically don’t swipe on them again if I happen to see them or if they swipe to match with me.
I’m trying to be open minded and some outside perspectives will be appreciated.