My girlfriend (27f) and I (33m) have been together for almost 2 years. At the beginning of our relationship, the sex was amazing—very passionate and meaningful. It wasn’t all the time, but it was regular. However, now when it does happen, it seems like she has no interest in it and doesn’t get very aroused. I understand that our sex drives can differ, and that’s completely normal, but I’m lucky to even get her to do a little making out with me. It may be once a month that I get that.
I love this woman with all of my heart, but this situation has made me feel like so much less than I should. Both of us have sexual trauma from past relationships and other times in our lives, and we have talked about that being part of the issue. She says that a fear of getting pregnant is part of why she lacks some of that sexual desire, but we are as safe as we can be, and it still doesn’t feel good enough.
I was married and divorced before I met her. My ex-wife and I tried for most of that time to conceive, but it never happened, partly due to an accident when I was younger. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, but I can’t be in a sexless relationship, so I need some advice on how to make this work with her. What can I do?