I’m 20 years old and live with my parents. More specifically my mom. Most of my time I go the gym or just go to school. Lately I’ve really lonely I have no one to talk to hangout with anymore. Most of my friends don’t want to talk to me be my friend. I’m at point where I’ve trying to talking to people at the gym and sometimes it good most of the time is eh or doesn’t workout for me. How do I get better my life in shape and better my relationships.
25 comments
I don’t think a gym is a good place to meet people. Sure, superficially but not purposefully. If you join a hiking group or a charitable organization or a camera club, for example, you have more social “legitimacy” from the get go. Additionally, a gym isn’t a good place to show that you are well groomed, well dressed, and know how to be polite and responsible.
I can relate when I was your age. I was going to Community College and a lot of my friends I didn’t see anymore. I worked out every day for 2-3 hours just to fill the boredom. I ended up getting a job at Target and was able to meet a lot of friends that were all around my age. It definitely helped with the loneliness
At least your doing better than the majority and actually going outside…
If you want to find friends and connect with people though, I would say to be part of a community such as a local skatepark (my experience).
First and foremost, living with your parents isn’t a negative thing. The amount of people your age and older living with their parents is at an all time high.
Why don’t your friends want to hang out with you anymore? Friends don’t normally just stop wanting to hang out with someone if effort is being put in.
What do you do for a hobby? Are there any local groups you can attend and try to make friends?
Get a part time job, preferably one at your school so you also have school friends. It’s easier to connect with people that you’re around constantly, especially if it’s a job with a lot of down time
I’m 21 male exact situation as u no friends only go to school and gym. I’m sure uve probably heard this before but try bumble bff. It’s kinda worked for me before
Start with being your own best friend. When outsiders see how much you love and take care of yourself (not in unhealthy ways), it sets a ground level for how you treat others.
im 20 in portland and i’m feeling the exact same, especially during this spring break.
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I strongly suggest bringing value to your community..
E.g. Giving blood, volunteering at the hospital, helping charity like Shout or OldAgeUK, helping at the kitchen for rough sleepers , working in a charity shop or organisation that does fundraising for childrens hospital etc. You get to meet brilliant people, and helping others actually helps you feel better on so many levels.
All relationships revolve around an activity. The simple answer is to be involved in more activities and connections will form naturally. It’s scary but worth it
Go for a checkup op. Sometimes there’s something wrong with our body that makes you feel lonely. Like low serotonin, like thyroid hormones.
If there’s nothing wrong. Why not get into a new hobby? Aside from the gym. Cycling, marathon, martial arts etc….
Environment change. Get an apartment with roomates and a job. In your free time go to the mall and talk with people.
You need to travel or volunteer somewhere. Find some organizations in your area where you could volunteer, org. such as Red Cross or Church or something.
You need to get out of your comfort zone. If people in your comfort zone aren’t talking then you need to talk somewhere else.
Or do something crazy that will not kill you or arrest you. You need to move the waters.
Have fun 👍
Join a local social group like “meet up” or something similar in your area. Take a class, start a new hobby. Get out there!
Suggest to see a therapist to find out the real reason why you’re feeling lonely. Is it because of your mother or food or other issues? You can actually do therapy online If you have not one in area
Friendship is like a dance. You either can dance or you can’t. You can’t then you go to the next dancer and see whether it works out well.
In a gym I smile if the person response we talk. If not go to the next. Look outwards. See how you can help the newbies. Talk to the staff. Coaches. Ask those you admire how they attained the body that is like Superman.
Read books, go library etc
Keep on it. Read nonfiction and you’ll have plenty to say that interests the quality of people you want yourself be influenced by. I’ll enjoy talking to anyone, but you should really be very selective about who you spend time with. Because that’s your life. Keep your standards high and you’ll find your groove. Stay in school and the rest falls into place.
This has nothing to do with living with parents. Sometimes we hit a plateau in life, take this time to work on yourself and develop new hobbies that improve your personality and confidence, u can also polish your skills like cooking etc.
Eventually many people will come in your life and you will make new friends. Don’t run after friends who no longer want to talk to you. In my opinion, if you would be desperate to get rid of this loneliness immediately and make friends then you might end up with wrong people or narcissists and that’s even worse than being alone.
Maybe they were busy doing their courses irl. You could do stuff that may enjoy u
I started playing basketball at 13 and it took a while but it changed my life. I moved continents, cities, timezones, met a wife the. divorced her, had a child.
Join a team sports. Join one of the travel companies that take groups of people (contiki).
Wow. It’s hitting you early I see.
Believe it or not, this is normal.
Friendships you had in your teens will mostly fade. 95% of my high school friends circle has evaporated. I literally only talk to one of them. I do try to make an effort to talk with the others, but they usually wind up flaking on me all the time.
I don’t take it personally, simply because I did try and make an effort but they never seemed to uphold their side of things.
I’m on the late end of my twenties and honestly, life isn’t great but it’s better than where I was when I was your age. You get used to the less frequent phone calls, of hearing the usual “I’m busy…” line over and over.
Adult friendships aren’t necessarily harder, they just take longer to develop over time than when we were kids, and they seemed to happen at a faster rate.
For one. What’s the real reason your friends don’t wanna talk to you as a collective ? What’d you do?
Join a sport. Any sport is good for meeting people
Start with a rec slopitch thing.
I used to be 20 and lonely but you move past that and now I’m 27 and lonely.
this is so me, do update if something works out for you bro this is hella crazy man, like i dont even try to talk to gym members usually be working out w music blasting and keeping a neutral face