I(20F) am a virgin, bf(19M) is not.
But still I like to do some foreplay, and we do it like 3 times a week.
I know I can finish like that, and I make him finish almost every time. He has more trouble to make me finish but still tries.
However, last time we had a conversation that left me feeling weird and kinda sad.
He basically spent 1 full hour, maybe more, just telling me I should have penetrative sex with him.
He basically said it got kinda boring (it’s been like a month), that we already did everything we could in foreplay (i don’t agree but well..), and that it would be easier for him to make me finish if i let him do the whole thing.
Well, I don’t want for multiple reasons :
– I know it’ll hurt. Fingers can already hurt me sometimes. And i don’t feel like it’s worth the pain + blood at the moment because
– I can totally finish without this. My ex was able to make me finish a lot, just with foreplay. I know foreplay can be fulfilling for me and gives me enough pleasure.
-I’m terrorized of getting pregnant. Even with protection, I know there is still a risk. And I live with my parents for now. I can’t risk them finding out about this, i’ll get kicked out. So I prefer waiting to live by myself.
-The only reason I didnt tell him : I want to do it with someone who really feels special to me… And I know he doesnt love me that deeply. And tbh, same. We’re together because we like each other, spend great time and both want exclusivity. But we’re not in love, and we aknoweldge it.
Well I told him in details the 3 first reasons.
And all he did was trying to change my mind. Like saying “you know the risk of pregnancy are veryyy low, if you worry about that you’ll never live fully”, “I can buy you pregnancy tests to make sure”, “It would be too sad for you to not experiment all the pleasure it can bring” etc
I felt pressured, and I also think he tried to manipulate me.
Cause he said something like “don’t let society pressure you into being scared of having sex… just have it with me”
It’s not even about society… If I wanted to, I would.
And also he says this is why he cant make me finish, that I should give him the chance to show his full potential…
But I think if he can’t make me finish without it, he probably can’t with it… Most women don’t cum from penetration.
So idk… What do you think about it ?
Things have been akward since that.
It lasted too long so i got fed up and straigly said “You know what ? I want it even less now, you’re doing too much to change my mind.”
I even though about breaking up because it made me feel so weird.
Like I was just useful for sex, and that now im not enough anymore..
But am I overacting ?
I feel like he realises he said things that weren’t nice… cause as he was talking, he said “gosh maybe i should just shup up, im starting to say weird things”
Also, of course he knew i was a virgin before dating me. And he knew i was scared of doing it, so it’s not like i made him believe he could have something and then I didnt give it to him.
So idk… maybe an advice ? I’m kinda lost