For my particular context, due to clinginess and aspects of personality that I’m now aware of and unattracted to.
I feel awkward saying typical things I’d usually say, like there is no spark/connection, because I’m scared he’d point out that I’ve never actually met him to find out.
The very last thing he sent me was a picture of himself at a bar. No caption. So this makes it even more awkward to follow a picture of himself with a rejection; especially when it has nothing to do with his looks.
Am I overthinking this? Or is there a kinder, but still direct and finite way to cut guys like this off? I obviously don’t want to ghost anyone.
15 comments
Go and meet him and kick him in the nuts
Just stop talking to him, lol.
So much for women being strong and having agency….
You sound like a nice and empathetic person, but you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
“Hi, I hate ghosting, so I wanted be upfront and let you know that I don’t see this going any further. Best of luck”
The kindest way would be to do it fast, leaving as little place for them to make fool of themselves. Don’t drag it out by responding to the begging, don’t use vague statements that leave them room for bargaining.
Just “Sorry, I’m not interested”, then stop responding to the rest of the sales pitch.
So you’ve never met them, and you don’t dislike their appearance. Why are you rejecting them outright sight unseen then? Maybe you ARE overthinking this.
That said, if you’re not interested – simply say so. Any other words are misleading or veiled. As a guy, I’d prefer a direct straight answer than some beat-around-the-bush let me down easy kind of bullshit response.
100 % he will think you don’t like his appearance. That’s for sure. I would say don’t make up stories. Be honest with him. If it’s because of his look tell him if it’s not just tell him. Just don’t lie to him and make the man look stupid.
Im confused lol why would you be turning down someone if youve never met? It mean you have never met?
If he points that you didnt met him, just say: “thats exactly the problem”.
Don’t be “kind”, be frank.
I’d say just tell him “this isn’t working out, I’m not happy, we’re done, good luck in the future “.
Be clinical:
* Hi {clingy boi}, After giving it some consideration, it’s best if we longer continue. Bye
But my question based on the fact that you’ve never met:
>_due to clinginess and aspects of his personality that I’m now aware of and unattracted to_
Are you sure you’re not confusing clinginess with interest, or are you just not feeling it? Def. trust your instincts.
I’m going through the same thing myself. Don’t let a guy gas light you just because you’ve never met in person.
Honestly if I were you I’d simply say “Nice, I hope you had a goodnight. Unfortunately I don’t see our friendship going any further and don’t think we’re quite compatible. I wish you luck though! Take care” and leave it at that.
If he tries to argue or counter what you say just ignore or block if he gets aggressive. Goodluck!
I much prefer genuine feedback instead of the fake excuse or dodging the issues approaches.”Yo, I like your enthusiam but unfortunately I feel like you would match better with someone who is less indepandant/distant in the way they approach relationships. Thanks and gl out there.”
Just say you’re not interested. It’s the fastest and most clear way.