I’m 33F and my husband 33M. He’s military and we’ve been in Hawaii for a couple years now, and our marriage and my mental health has gone downhill. This his 2nd marriage, so the beginning of our marriage 5 years ago was not the fairytale. There was no blissful years. No
Honeymoon phase. In fact, I was taking care of basically everything by myself while he treated me like an option and focused on the military. He has a porn, alcohol and nicotine addiction. To the point that he acts different if he doesn’t have 1 of the 3. we don’t date. And we have 4 kids altogether (2 from his first marriage, I have 1 from a previous and we have 1 together)…..Yesterday was the last straw. I’ve been wanting him to plan time together with just me. But he doesn’t (he doesn’t even do gifts, this was the first valentine and birthday that I even got anything from him) . Last night, he started drinking and asked me if I wanted to watch a movie together. Which made me excited for course. But hours roll by and he drinks more and more until it’s time for me
To take my meds and get in bed. And he’s still drinking and on the phone with friends, haven’t even eaten dinner yet tho we had eaten hours ago.
I asked him if he still was going to watch with me and he said yes. I asked when and he said soon. I asked how soon bc he just brought 3 more beers in the house and still have to eat. Told him I didn’t believe he even wanted to watch with me in the first place.
Anyways, it turned into an argument. Or how he is inconsistent and would rather drink than spend time with me alone.
So now I’m trying to disconnect, even tho I still love him and his words of promises that haven’t been met. If I leave, I’d have to spend money to move me and my kids and start all over. Even tho I was stable and had my own place before I met him. I’ve been taking care of him for over 5 years and he can’t even show appreciation for what I do. Can’t show sympathy for me. Can’t get help for his addiction