I started dating my partner Max after about six years of very short relationships and one somewhat longer one. In all of my previous relationships, no matter how casual they were, I met the other person’s friends within a few weeks at most, and it was never a formal affair.
Max, however, never wanted me to meet his friends, who were all straight men – he’s the first man I ever dated who didn’t have women friends. When he went out with his friends, he said it would be awkward if “a girlfriend” came along. When I went out with my friends, it was obvious that he was invited. We did fight about it in the beginning, especially after he let it slip once that one of his friends’ girlfriends had indeed joined them one night.
I almost broke up with him over this. Honestly I don’t know why I tolerated it at all.
We’ve been together for six years now, and my friends are also his friends while his friends are still just his friends. As his friends are getting older and more mature and are only now doing me the honor of meeting me, I struggle with getting along with them and reconciling the fact that they and Max reduced me to “a girlfriend” years ago.
Max says his friends are all just very awkward people. While I don’t doubt this, it doesn’t make me feel any better.
I want to resolve my own resentment, but I’m not even sure what I’d want from Max or any of his friends if I were to speak to them about it. And how can I even broach this conversation after so many years?
Tl;dr: I find myself in proximity to friends of my partner of 6 years who had no interest in meeting me years ago, and I’m struggling with resentment.