So I (f40) and my husband (m50) of 14 years, were talking about fantasies. Of course his fantasy is a 3some. So I agreed that we could do this and I actually got interested in the idea.
Now here is where the problems start.
How do we find a 3rd?
what if they’re more attracted to each other and I’m just kind of sitting in the corner?
I also think it’s important to keep in mind the “3rd” is a person, with feelings and desires of her own so I don’t want her to feel used, is it ok to have a conversation like that up front? I would want her to speak up about her wishes too.
I’ve tried talking to him about all of this and other thoughts and he has told me I should be the one to find the 3rd so I can make sure I’m comfortable, but does anyone really know how comfortable they are until they’re in that situation?
I’m really looking for advice all the way around.
First, I’m not sure how to make this happen.
Second, I don’t know what to expect after.
Third, is this a good idea? I don’t want to ruin my marriage, but I want to be part of making his fantasy a reality.