I know we all get annoyed by this, but I really get annoyed. Especially if:
– I make a point and it is dismissed
– If I am trying to engage in a discussion and they talk to me as though they know better or don’t take in what I say
– Tell me what to do
– suggest something is easy when I am struggling with it
– ignores my concerns
This isn’t all the time though. I feel like if it’s someone who’s on my level (e.g., same position), doesn’t have overall responsibility for what I’m doing (e.g., it’s not their project), suggests I am more inexperienced than I am (e.g., talk as though I have never heard a concept I am expert at, even if it’s someone more senior), it bothers me more. Whereas if these things weren’t the case, I wouldn’t care. e.g., if it was a peer who was in charge of the project I’d say whatever you want!.
To give you an example today I asked a supervisor a question online. A peer I am working on the project with came in and started answering (although they misunderstood what I said). In that they started saying how we are going to do things. I suggested some alternative ways, and they said we were doing it X way because of Y, hope this clarifies the situation for you. And then answered very bluntly original question I had asked.
I felt a bit undermined, but like it really really hit me… To the point where I was brooding for 10 mins. Which isn’t normal… Also it was more the tone than the actual content.
Why? Suggestions.. solutions?