I 25f was cheated on by my partner of 5 years 26M 4 months after our daughter was born. The AP was an employee of his who he texted, met up with and had sex with on several occasions. She knew all about me and our baby but pursued him in hopes that he would leave us and be with her. It lasted 2/3 months I say this because on 3 occasions he said he cut contact but 3 times I saw they were in fact still in contact through looking through his phone, the last time it was after I suggested we take time apart to figure things out. He took this opportunity to message her to take time off and to plan to meet up with her and have sex with her while me and our baby were away. He’s refusing to record a break up call with her and says he feels like a kid being told what to do and that it’s ’not right’ to have that call in front of me and it would make him uncomfortable… He used to go out and tell me he was with friends when really he was sleeping with her so naturally I’m not fond of the idea of him going out but he calls me controlling when I express this and says he’d never stop me from going out. He wanted but didn’t stop sharing his location and password because it felt like I was monitoring him. Recently he wants to go on a leaving do holiday with him and some coworkers which originally he said he’d want me and our daughter to go on him with because he knows he doesn’t have my trust atm then changed his mind and said the whole I’m not a kids don’t need monitoring excuse. I don’t want to be controlling but I’m not sure how to build trust especially when he’s lied so much.
TL;DR how do you repair trust after infidelity without being controlling? After my partner cheated he thinks I’ve become controlling but I’m just trying to find a way to build trust?