My bf and I have been in a relationship for a few months now and are thinking about marriage. We were discussion about managing finances as a married couple. I will lay out his opinion and mine – I would appreciate your thoughts on each one and which one would make the most sense:
His opinion:
He believes that a couple should keep their finances transparent so they can keep each other accountable. Share information about income, expenses and justify them. He believes that a couple should share their financial goals, and that each person’s goals should be discussed and become a collective goal so it can be reached faster. For example, if I want an expensive bag or he wants a car, we make it our collective goal.
He is also someone who is OK with me choosing to work a corporate job, be a stay at home mother, or run a business. He is willing to cover for me if I fall short or if I need to depend on him.
My opinion:
I agree with his opinion, but as a woman I do not feel comfortable being fully transparent about my income or where it goes. I do want to continue working a corporate job and work on establishing a small business & other passive sources of income so I have something to lean on in case I choose to be a stay at home mother for a while. I like his idea of sharing financial goals, but I do not like the idea of losing financial independence. My solution was to go with his approach, but also set aside some money for just myself. I also want to set up an emergency fund to fall back on in case either of us need to.
He didn’t seem too thrilled about the idea of me keeping part of my income/spending private and we had an argument. He then said we can deal with the situation when the time comes. However, I will be bringing this up again and talk this through with him.
Before I do, I want to understand if there is anything wrong with either approaches, and understand better how couples deal with finances.