Throwaway.
So, I’m not sure that I have the correct flair, but we (husband and I) definitely had a miscommunication.
For some background, my husband and I have been in couples counseling for relationship issues that came along with his alcohol abuse. He has quit drinking (so proud) and we’ve made made a lot of progress communication/ relationship wise in therapy.
I has surgery last year that has kept me in and out of commission in the bedroom, but it hasn’t stopped me from wanting to do what I’m able to do. (Head, toys, oral) he knows this and has participated (with a lot of coaxing) over time since our therapy began. Before therapy and his stopping drinking, our sex life (and relationship tbh) was terrible, or non-existent and my sex life was mostly just me,myself and I because he was too drunk to participate.
Fast forward to now. We’ve renewed our relationship and have been “dating” again, despite having been together 12 years. I’ve been more vocal in the bed room and guiding him to do what I like when I initiate sex. I’m always the one to initiate.
2 nights ago, I brought up the conversation about sex as we’re were snuggling in bed. I asked him how often he wants to have sex, ideally. He said he wants it all the time. I do too. I told him what sexy plan/fantasy I had planned for valentines day (which I was not cleared for intercourse by my doc, so we postponed until the 2 weeks from now) he liked it, it was a mild, tame vanilla fantasy.
I asked him what he wanted and he said nothing. I’m trying to dig some fantasy’s out of him, but I’ll gladly take the lead until then. We gave each other oral and ended the night on a high.
Last night, our kids left with grandma (they’re older) and he and I had been flirting all evening. He came into the bedroom, I started to kiss him and began to take off his shirt, with the intention of giving him head. I was clearly initiating and right before I said “I want to suck your dick” He cut me off, said “I just ate”… walked past me and said “I thought you were getting in the shower?”
So, I feel rejected. Take a shower, hop in bed and being it up. I told him how he said just last night that he wanted it (sex) all the time and I am totally willing to give it and take it all the time. I asked him why, if he wanted it, was he rejecting me and my attempt? My hands were on his chest, one grabbing his belt, I was just about to tell him point blank that I wanted to suck him off.
He swears he didn’t reject me and I’m overreacting. It hurt. And I didn’t yell or cry or be upset during this conversation. It was calm, I praised him and how much I love to fuck him and how much I always want him and said how I want it more and more excitement.
He’s pissed. Thinks I’m always asking for more, he does everything and gives me whatever I want and all I do is complain.
I just want to fuck my husband as much as he says he wants to fuck