So I (22m) recently started swiping on tinder essentially looking for casual sex you know, maaaaybe friendships but I’m pretty selective with those. The most ideal thing would be a friends with benefits thing because the one I have lives far away and meeting is always hard. I’m open about it on my profile, not too direct but it should get the point across.
Due to reasons I’m not looking for anything long term.
So I matched with a girl who had “short term fun” on her profile, we were flirty and it was going well, we exchanged numbers and got along. Yesterday we had a date at a ramen restaurant (let’s forget the fact that she took a wrong bus and was an hour late, it was shitty but hey, it has happened to me too lol). Then, she tells me about how men always misunderstood her profile and asked for sex… And I’m like… Okay…
The date was fun overall and she was kinda cool, but after we left the restaurant to go for a walk I told her explicitly that I was one of those guys that misunderstood her profile and that I did want sex. I expected her to get grossed out and leave so I could go home and play Stardew Valley, but she just apologised and continued like nothing happened, the date went on. And from then on it was… I mean… She was kinda cool but I really didn’t care about her.
Was she looking only for friends or interested in long term? Who knows, because she kept it friendly on the dage but on chats she was flirty. The point being that I lost my interest…
But she… she was having so much fun walking around and talking and wanted to make more plans for the weekend. I said “we can talk about it yeah, but I think I have another date on Friday.” It’s not a lie but I said hoping that she would think I’m gross and let me go. I really don’t care too much about her being my friend… I have other friends already with whom I share more hobbies and who live closer by.
Eventually another friend texted me asking if I wanted to play online so I used that as excuse to leave with “hey a friend needs help with something so I gotta bounce, sorry”
The date was fun, and she was cool and you know, talking to others is always a good way to practice. Honestly the only thing that bothered me was that I paid for everything. I did it willingly, but man I could’ve bought the book I wanted with that.
So as of now she has not texted me. I’m kinda hoping she will ghost me. But if she writes I don’t know if I should let cultivate the friendship or not. I also don’t want to be the shitty guy who tells her I just wanted sex and don’t care about her, but she really deserves someone else.
It’s really frustrating when as a man you barely get attention, and the one you get is this.
I’m new to this dating thing so I’m not really sure. What do you guys think it’s the best course of action?