My wife and I have been together for a little over 4 years now, we have two young kids. I am in the military and I work 12 hour days 6 days a week in a very demanding job. My wife, who is normally a very jealous type of person, came to me one night and asked for an open relationship for the main reasons of she feels she isn’t getting much attention with me working so much and to try to make me happy based on me making comments and jokes in the past about celebrities I find attractive( I am not defending myself for that, I understand it’s wrong). However I thought it was very strange she was asking for this, initially I said no because I thought she was testing me and when I realized she was not I agreed to it so that I could let things play out to find a real motive. A few days pass and I go through her phone and find she is talking to an old “friend” as she claimed he was but the text indicated they were in a prior relationship. The texts were heart breaking, they included her saying that she still loves him, dreams about him often, talking about past sexual encounters, and her saying she just married me to get away from her bad home life. It was also uncovered in the text that she got a tattoo for him while we were married, his last name is Cherry and about a year into our marriage I started tattooing, she asked me to give her a tattoo of a cherry and I did. Apparently they had talked about this tattoo before her and I met. I confronted her about these things and she still lied to me and couldn’t admit to them even though I had proof of all the texts. It’s been about a month now since I confronted her and still is sticking to the story that they were never in a relationship and never slept together. She has admitted to talking to him while me and her were dating and were exclusive and stopped talking when we got engaged. It has also just come to light that her body count is much higher than what she told me when we were dating and that she has cheated in past relationships. I know she still is not being truthful about this situation fully. I don’t know what to do or think, I want a divorce but we have kids and it would break my heart for them to have separate homes. I just need advice.
TLDR: my wife was talking to a guy she’s had history with while we were dating, had me give her a tattoo for him without me knowing and apparently still loves him. Should I leave?