so my bf called me needy bc I send him a lot of memes and texts and basically I’ve been doing the efforts in the relationship such as driving to his place, getting him food just because. I mean love is not transactional right, but ig it shocked me to be called needy because well, I do send a lot of memes to my friends as well, so this is regular behavior from me.. Anyways he apologized for calling me needy and assured me it was just banter and that he loved fulfilling my needs. But get this, he is not a need. He is a want. I have 2 jobs, parents to take care of, a work team as my responsibility, Master’s this fall, videos, podcasts, and all my other hobbies. He is whipped cream on top of my iced coffee. It’s not necessary. Adds flavor, yes, but other than that, I don’t have to have him.
Context about bf, he works at a government agency, m to f, usual hours but sometimes overtime and all. Deals with criminals it seems so he might be stressed.
This weekend, I’m free and these are “golden” days. It’s rare and it aligns with our schedule. I’m off. He’s off. Great, right? And we’ve been talking about it for some time now and he approved it and “yes, you can come over.”
I’m still feeling hurt from being called needy. It is one of my pain points but he doesn’t know that. I’ve explained it to him, and he apologized. I was still hurting. It’s a sore spot touched by that needy joke but I decided to put it behind us and decided to go visit him as agreed. Then all of a sudden while I’m driving halfway, he texts me he’s sick but I’m already so close to his town so I just excused and went to a restaurant and ate by myself. He finally let me visit him after a while. I told him to allow me to take care of him and he’s like no you’ve done so much for me I’m just gonna feel worse. Am I enabling him to like be lazy in the relationship?
I came across an audiobook saying that if he wants you, you’ll pursue you and will make no excuses. He’ll just keep chasing after you. Guys, how true is this?