TL;DR;
My boyfriend wants to dress in “women’s” clothes and lingerie and wants to play the more submissive role in the bedroom but i just don’t get sexual gratification from it.
Before I begin, I am completely accepting of exploring gender identity, being trans and everything else in-between. I myself am bi and have explored my gender identity in my teen years. This does not come from a place of judgment.
I (f 23) had a talk with my boyfriend (m 23) and I don’t know where to go from here. We were at a restaurant and he apprehensively told me that he wants to shave off his beard. He went on to explain that he wants to feel feminine and wants to change his appearance as such. Things like shaving body hair, growing his hair and not having facial hair.
When we left, I had a heart to heart with him and he told me that he’s felt this way since he was a child. He would wear his sisters clothes and it would make him feel good. He told me that he really enjoys when he puts on my clothes or lingerie and he loves that because it makes him feel pretty/sexy. He also prefers the submissive role in the bedroom like sitting on my lap, getting pegged, being called “feminine” words/ being treated “feminine”.
I completely supported him in the conversation and made him feel comfortable because I love him and always will but in my head, my heart was breaking a little. I didn’t know he felt this way when he started dating and I loved him for him- beard, interest in very masc hobbies, deep voice. Again, I have no problem with exploring but I am just not attracted to it with him. We experimented with these things in the bedroom and I found myself really turned off but did it because I saw how much he enjoyed it. I want to marry this man & spend my life with him and the thought of leaving makes me sick. I don’t know how to proceed, he should be with someone that completely accepts and shares his kinks but I just can’t make myself be that person and he absolutely shouldn’t change himself for me. Any advice would be appreciated.