We’ve been together for three years. I am not financially supporting him in any way, and we do not live together.
I live alone, do not have children, am employed full time, and have minimal debt. My life is not glamorous, but I’m happy and secure and my needs are met.
However, my boyfriend of three years is spiraling. I’m almost 100% sure he has adult ADHD, because his executive functioning skills are terrible. He has a young child and his ex-wife is always pissed about something because he forgets everything. He also struggles financially and is always broke.
A couple weeks ago I noticed that he doesn’t really clean up areas where his cat puked on the carpet. He wipes it off with a paper towel, but that’s it. If my cat had puked on my carpet, I would scrub the heck out of it.
He also told me that he hasn’t done his taxes yet, which is worrisome, because I don’t think he’s done his taxes for a few years now and keeps forgetting to address that issue.
Then yesterday, we were leaving for a date, and he suddenly suggested I drive, because his car was acting up. Due to his financial problems, I know that won’t get fixed for a while.
All of these problems stem from his lack of focus and follow-through. I have suggested he get treatment for these issues and have even sent him links and free resources.
But today I woke up and realize that I’ve just had it. However, I’m wondering if maybe I’m being too selfish. I want to be there for him, because he’s a good person and has some wonderful qualities. I’m worried I’d be a bad person if I abandoned him now. He doesn’t have any family locally, so I’m really the only person on his side right now. I don’t know what to do.
tl;dr My boyfriend of 3 years can’t seem to get his life together, but if I leave him now I feel like I’d be kicking him while he’s down. Should I try to help him out or cut ties and leave him to his own devices?