I’m 30F and people want to go out with me. I usually match with people I like first. But it is SO hard to have a conversation where they actually ask me about myself.
One guy I was asking about the marines and went back and forth like 10 times and I mentioned I was in school and kept saying military things and he didn’t ask about either. We talked for a few days and he didn’t even ask what I was in school for or find out I was also a veteran. I volunteer some info, but I’m not gonna just start talking about everything I’ve done with no prompt.
Another guy was super condescending. I was gonna force myself to go out with him to “see what happens” but it just drains my energy. He asked what my goals were and I said I wanted to start my own practice with unlimited PTO among other benefits. He goes “soooo…” and starts yapping about how that’s actually a farce and something something about profits and then says starting a business is so hard and comes with many challenges. Okay? I’m 30. I’ve had jobs before. I’m also in grad school and know what a challenge is. He should’ve commented on if we had shared values or not vs giving unsolicited advice.
Another guy I asked how his college experience was, how he got into the industry, who he worked with, why he moved back here…and he asked me out. But he didn’t ask me a question.
I don’t want to go out with people I don’t know. I want to get to know you a bit on the apps and see if we vibe. Why would a man want to waste his time planning a date, probably paying (in general), having to follow through and do all that and he might have nothing in common with this woman.
The last date I went on I was explicit about not wanting to be touched right away and he completely ignored my boundaries over and over. I haven’t gone on a date since November because of that. I’ve had several other experiences where I’ve just been dehumanized.
Am I missing something? I tried being straight forward and opening up. I’ve said I want to take things slow or say datings been hard. Last guy just got super short and clearly wasn’t interested anymore.
I don’t feel like I’m seen as a person. I’ve done a lot of cool things and have a very bold personality. I also feel like my personality is polarizing, so why wouldn’t I want to make sure someone actually likes it first?
Is there a way I can somehow convey to men or filter (I’m already so picky😭) that they need to have a back and forth conversation with me first? That sounds so basic to type but I’m truly at a loss.
My profile is very thorough. Says I want a long term relationship and there’s no pictures indicating a hook up.