It’s been a reoccuring argument though we’ve only spoken about it a handful of times, first time I told him he owed me (as a joke since he said “I owe you one”, he owe me nothing) since we were interrupted just as he got into it, the next day he was going to didn’t go as planned so it was set aside. After sex when it didn’t happen I was obviously disappointed because it was so hyped up in my mind.
He basically said “you get what you get and don’t get upset.” then proceeded to make me feel guilty by suggesting he couldn’t satisfy me, that penetration or him wasn’t good enough etc.
Which is far from the truth, it’s as simple as I would like it and have been looking forward to it since the beginning of our relationship, when he used to dirty text me how excited he was to do it and was even craving it (clearly all cap I’m coming to realize ://)
Today at breakfast I dared to bring up the subject again, first he simply said I was killing the mood so I stayed silent for a bit my anxiety eating me away till I asked “Why would it kill the mood? Do you not enjoy it?” he threw down his breakfast sandwich and said he lost his appetite because I ruined it with questions that were making him uncomfortable.
Really feeling defeated, I shouldn’t feel guilty for simply asking for clarification and especially if I’m asking for something I’d like. I give him everything he asks for no problem during sex but when I do suddenly it’s a problem and I’m supposed to keep quiet? Bullshit. Getting really frustrated, I’d understand if he says he didn’t like it, but he told me he did, he said I didn’t smell, I tasted good but it’s like he’s being intentionally defiant because I’m asking.
TLDR; Bf repeatedly hyped up giving me oral but hasn’t followed through. When I bring it up, he made excuses, guilt-tripped, and got defensive when questioned. I feel defeated and frustrated by the unequal dynamic in our sexual relationship