Tl;dr! “I have no place to go, so i have to stay with him. I want to make this marriage work, but I am curious and want to find that other woman. He is unhappy in this marriage. I am heartbroken, i am trying to forgive & help him.”
So, my husband cheated on me with some girl that he used to know before. I suspected something was wrong and eventually found it out right after he left home. I caught him later.
Why he did it?
He is unhappy in our marriage. He wanted to escape from this. He feels like he is trapped and committed way too early. He thinks i might cheat on him someday.
I am heartbroken. But i still want our marriage to work.
My background: I have no place to go. So he can’t leave me. He still cares about me. I love him and trying to forget that event and move on. I just can’t get that horrible memory out of my head. I have been having dreams about he f***ing some woman. I love him too much. I still try to find who that woman was. I Go through his phone. But i find nothing. If i push, he might show me that woman.
**IS IT WORTH IT?? Should i keep on spying and try to find that other woman?? Will it help to heal me??**
Please don’t suggest me to leave him. I am in no position to go someplace else. He is not rich, so he can’t find me a separate place to settle.
I think i can forget, i just need time. But it hurts so much. I feel that i might become fully crazy when i get old as i have repressed anger in me.
I feel, my husband is in pain. I feel sorry for him that i can’t help him.
I try to distract myself. Still The traumatizing memory comes back. Will time heal my heart ache?