Not sure if this is the right place to post this so redirect and I’ll delete and post as accordingly.
It might have been mistaken for me to bring this up originally, but I was curious about what my gf of 7 months(this is our first relationships) thought of our future plans after we’d separate and go to our respective colleges. She basically said that when we eventually leave, she wanted us to distance ourselves and essentially cut it off when we leave for a couple of reasons.
One of which is that we are both overthinkers and long distance might bring confusion and frustration due to poor communication which could cause a messy and ugly breakup while we’re in college. She also expressed her concern about college being such a drastic change to life, and each of us will need time to adapt. She also said that college is the time to self-explore and learn more about ourselves and she feels like a relationship to an extent prevents this(and that we will not really have time to commit fully to a relationship). In part, it all feels kind of interesting/concerning because she is very likely going to be taking a gap year and staying in town before going to uni.
I think I feel kinda hurt when she told me this, like our whole relationship to a certain degree has been invalidated. Don’t we still have to try? Like what was the point of all of this? Its like all the deeper meaning of what I found this relationship to be valuable, the “love”, becomes meaningless. Of course I recognize that the future isn’t the end all be all and that the journey is what matters, but I can’t help but feel like if there is no future in mind for her, then in a sense, all she sees in this relationship is fun and attention(I think to “love” someone involves the incessant hope of a future together).
I’d also rather things end horribly than live in regret of what could have been. I don’t want to end things before college because I am afraid that I will continue life knowing that we ended such a heartfelt relationship on purpose. I wish we could say, “at least we tried” and mean it.
How do I approach this topic rather than shoving it under the rug, and what should I say to her? Or perhaps, how do I come to terms with the truth and accept it in order to move forward? I’m hoping to find some other perspectives on this before reaching out to her so I can fully understand my own emotions as well as hers, and how to responsibly and maturely move forward.
TLDR; GF wants to breakup before college because she wants to avoid messy breakup while we’re on good terms and time to focus on ourselves.