What crazy things do you think of now?

6 comments

1. and again I think about how much I would love to have a pet unicorn. I also think about what it would be like to live in a world where there are no rules and everyone can do whatever they want.

2. Packing a suitcase and moving to bikini bottom to live with spongebob to get away from civilization

3. I am crazy enough to think I can do stand-up comedy.

4. I have this weird, recurring, unethical-to-have, thought.

   I often wonder how many current health and social problems we have now, are a direct result of modern medicine saving so many lives, that otherwise might not have survived to pass on their genes, over the last couple centuries.

5. Sometimes I get these weird impulses to punch someone in the face. Like not even because they pissed me off, it could be one of my friends I get along with well and I’ll just have the thought to attack them. I don’t even want to either which is weird so I’ll just sorta look away and burry it down.

   I have GAD also so sometimes I think some really paranoid thoughts. Like when someone brings in food at work or school and there’s this thought of “what if they’re trying to drug or poison me?” Or I’ll be in my car driving and won’t want to put the windows up because what if there’s like a leak or something and the fumes kill me. Basically just some really silly and stupid shit like that. One time I washed my hands 20 times because I thought whatever was on my hands would make me sick.

   I have pretty hard health anxiety too. Like every weird feeling makes me think I’m gonna die. I got a little cramp in my stomach? “Oh God, I have a GI bleed.” Headache? Oh *forsure* that’s a stroke. Light chest pain? Heart attack even though I know I have GERD. Those covid shots were the fucking worst, kept thinking I was having a bad reaction.

   Then there’s the really annoying “is this even real?” Thoughts where it feels like I’m in a dream and i feel disconnected from my body. Sometimes things just happen that I don’t expect and it’s like a gong goes off in my head where I legit question if I’m going crazy.

   Fortunately I’ve gone to therapy and use the strategies I learned in CBT. The biggest break through I think is that I’m able to push them down and say to myself “dude you’re being fucking stupid, is it possible? Sure, but is it probable? No, not really, so stop freaking out.” I’m finally believing that it’s all just in my head and I can just ride it out until it goes away.

   Fucking sucked though when I was 23 and this started happening to me. Didn’t leave the house for like 6 months and freaked out all day every day.

6. Spin-off cop show where the cops all have Tourette’s… or just the host of the show… not sure yet.
   “The speeding car runs a red light with no regard for PROSTITUTION other motorists”
   “The officers give the man a warning and send him to A TALIBAN TRAINING CAMP rehabilitation course”
   He was lucky he got out SUCKED OFF alive…
   The police found him in possession of class a KITTENS drugs…