I had another discussion with my husband. I told him about how he’s placing an unfair expectation on her, and that unwarranted comments like that can affect her self esteem. And that as parents, we should want our daughters to feel confident and feel like they can make decisions about their own bodies, and not have other people forcing those decisions on them. Also that she will start hearing things like that from more and more people the older she gets, and that she shouldn’t be hearing it from her parents as well. I think he does understand now and he apologised to both me and my daughter.
I did also talk to our daughter, and made sure she knew that it’s her choice what she chooses to do to her body, and that it’s about what she feels comfortable with. While I’ve done my best, I’m not sure how much what my husband said has affected her. Although he has apologised to our daughter, I’m not sure how much that has done. But I can’t undo what has been done, so I’m trying to help my daughter as best I can. She wants to start shaving now, and I’m not going to stop her from that. I feel a little sad this is because of what he said but it’s what she wants, and I don’t want to make it worse by not letting her. So although I have resolved it with my husband, it may have lasting effects on our daughter. But I’m not sure if there’s anything more I can do to change that.
And thank you for all the feedback on the original post, it gave me a lot to think about: [Original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1bor302/my_37f_husband_38m_told_my_daughter_that_she/)