Let me start by saying that I have an amazing girlfriend in all aspects and our 2 year relationship has never had any real issues so far. We both trust each other 100%, communicate well, and always try to address everything directly. We’re both extremely happy in our relationship.
To help you understand the rest of the story better, let me tell you something about one of my gf’s ex boyfriend, let’s call him Jake.
They’ve been together for 2 years, he cheated on her, treated her like crap and ended up having mental and drug issues. They broke up. Fast forward 2 years, she got out of another relationship of 1 year, and decided to check in on Jake, see how he’s doing. They started talking, and a few weeks later became friend with benefits. This situation goes on for about 6 months, and even though Jake had a gf this whole time, she falls for him again even though he hasn’t changed and still treated her the same. Towards the end of the 6th month, she met me and we started talking. She told me she had some things from her past she needed to resolve, and that she wants to move slow. I understood, as I had a similar situation not long ago. During that time she went and fucked him one more time and put an end to it, as she realized he will never change and would always drag her down.
1 month later, we became official, and since then we’ve been in love. I feel I’ve changed into a much better person with her, and so has she. Her parents and friends all mentioned how much she changed ever since she met me. We all have a great relationship and I’m glad for it.
Now, she knows that I have a no contact rule with all my ex girlfriends, even though my break ups were always positive and we do not hate each other to this day, I simply cut them completely out of my life, so that my girlfriend would never have to worry or think about it. I do that as a sign of respect to my partner.
Not long ago, she and one of her friends went to a concert of a small, not very known, band where Jake and one of her ex flings play. Jake introduced her to the band when they dated, and to this day she knows only one single song. I expressed my feelings towards her decision to go there, saying I do not like it, not for the fact that I worry about her cheating or whatever, she always wants to tell me everything she does, and never showed a smallest sign that would make me not believe her words. We spend most of our time together, and I was happy that she was going to go out and have fun, as she had a lot of assignments in school and was always working on them for long hours.
She told me that she understands my feelings, but assured me that she has absolutely zero feelings for Jake, and that the same goes for him. They mostly send each other a reel once a week, or text once a month, just general texts, how’s life going etc. They met at the concert after they finished playing and talked for a few minutes, not alone, her friend was there the whole time, and it was just a friendly chat.
I’m trying to be okay with this, but knowing about their past and how she was treated, I simply can’t wrap my head around it and be at peace with her talking to him, let alone going out to see his band. She doesn’t talk with any other ex. I told her that it makes me uncomfortable and that I do not like it. I’m not sure if it’s a sign of insecurity, jealousy or something else. Once again, I’m not scared of her cheating on me. She told her parents and friends about this situation and how it makes me feel, and they are all on my side and feel that out of respect to me she should not be going to these concerts.
She had fun at the concert, and I was glad she enjoyed the night, but she told me that the next one is in 1-2 months and she would like to go again. We had a talk about the whole situation but nothing came out of it. She enjoys the music, as it’s not really a common genre, despite knowing only one single song, and feels sad with me telling her to stop going there, as I don’t feel comfortable with it. On the other hand, this is literally the only exception, and I told her my reasons. When we want to go out drinking with friends, we go. That goes for her, as well as for me and we’ve never had any issues with that.
For those who experienced a similar situation, how did you handle it?
**TL;DR**
Gf goes to abusive ex bf’s concert, even though I’m uncomfortable with it. She doesn’t see anything wrong with it, everybody else does, including her parents, friends and me. To clarify, she is 100% not cheating, I am sure of that. According to her, there are no longer any emotions between them, it’s just a quick friendly chat.